Spotlight

1. Why Mean Betty Wasn't Shocked By M.I.A.'s Middle Finger at the Super Bowl

Kittens, did you watch the Super Bowl on Sunday? Meanie did, but not because she happens to be particularly fond of football. No, Meanie was more interested in the things that happen in and around Continue reading

2. Mean Betty: A 9-Year-Old Dances Like Michael Jackson at School, Gets Suspended!

  Kittens, just when Mean Betty thought she had heard it all, here comes this story out of Minnesota. Meanie thinks it beats burying your mama in a storage unit by a long shot! You see kittens, a Continue reading

3. Mean Betty on the Many Rumors Surrounding Demi Moore's Health Scare

Kittens, it’s been a week since Demi Moore was rushed to the hospital for some as-yet-undisclosed problem. But the fact that it is, in fact, as-yet-undisclosed hasn’t tamped down the rumor mill; Continue reading

4. Mean Betty Wonders Would You Bury a Relative In a Storage Unit?

Mean Betty knows that it’s important to stay close to your family. Of course “close” depends upon whether or not you like them. (Meanie enjoys visiting her relatives on the eve of Haley’s Continue reading

5. Mean Betty Asks, Is 28 Too Old For Skimpy Outfits?

There is something to be said for growing old gracefully, is there not, kittens? Would that we could all grow up to be Helen Mirren! But while a good many embrace the “young at heart” philosophy Continue reading

6. Mean Betty's Sad News: Kardashian Weekly Won't Happen!

  Kittens, Mean Betty hates to be the bearer of bad news, she really does, but Meanie is sorry to say that your dreams have now been crushed. Meanie knows that you were waiting with bated breath and Continue reading

7. Mean Betty on Stephen Colbert's Presidential Campaign 2012

Well, kittens, you’ll be glad to know that Meanie is keeping up with at least one of her New Year’s Resolutions for 2012: She’s staying on top of current events. How? By following the buzz for Continue reading

8. Mean Betty on Beyonce's Maternity Ward Takeover

How did you react to the news of Beyonce finally giving birth, kittens? Did you squeal with joy? Did you roll your eyes? Did you exclaim “I KNEW she was actually pregnant!”? Did you not react at Continue reading

9. Mean Betty: Katy Perry's Parents Use Her Divorce to Promote Themselves

Mean Betty understands what it’s like to have relatives who are fame hungry. Why just last week Mean Betty had to send a cease and desist letter to her mother, because "Mom," as she likes to call Continue reading

10. Mean Betty Raises a Glass to Her New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year, kittens! Meanie hopes you had a satisfactory one, full of champagne, streamers, elegant parties, and smooches at midnight. But now that the clock has turned and the parties are over, Continue reading

11. Mean Betty: A Salute to Jared Leto, the Worst-Dressed Man in the World

Good morning, kittens! And how are you this bright and sunny day? You may be wondering why Meanie is so chipper today. There’s an easy answer for that question; Meanie finds nothing quite as Continue reading

12. Mean Betty: Hugh Heffner to Crystal Harris, "Gimme Back My Dog!"

  Kittens, Mean Betty’s heard all sorts of scary stories about couples fighting over stuff after they break up, but the fight between Hugh Hefner and his latest ex-fiancé, Crystal Harris, takes Continue reading

13. Mean Betty: 'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Are Getting Sued... Over Water?

Do you believe in health drinks and fads, kittens? Do you believe in the wonders of acai? Of pomegranate? Of the so-called “master cleanse?” Meanie doesn’t. This is perhaps why she finds it so Continue reading

14. Mean Betty: Kim Kardashian Won a New Award!

  Fresh on the heels of Barbara Walters public pronouncement that “You cannot trust the Kardashians,” on the Late Show with David Letterman: ...the National League of Junior Cotillions Continue reading

15. Mean Betty Does Not Think Jennifer Aniston Is the Sexiest Woman of All Time

What does “sexy” mean to you, kittens? Does it mean stick-thin models? Curvy vintage pinups? Laugh lines? There are many different definitions of “sexy”—indeed, there are probably as many Continue reading

16. Mean Betty Didn't Know Pepper Spray Is a Shopping Must-Have

  Kittens, I don’t know if you remember the national wrestling match that was Black Friday. One crazy event stood out heads and shoulders above the rest. A woman at a Porter Ranch, California Continue reading

17. Mean Betty: Kourtney Kardashian and Farrah Abraham Go to War!... Or Something

Kittens! Don your helmets and burrow down into your trenches! War is upon us! War most terrible! War of the worst kind imaginable! War between… REALITY TV STARS! Oh, all right, maybe this isn’t Continue reading

18. Mean Betty Says, "Release The Kraken On The Housewives!"

Lambies, what a Monday to wake up to! It was announced over the weekend that Taylor Armstrong, the duck-lipped one of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, will be releasing Hiding from Reality: My Story Continue reading

19. Mean Betty on Weird Celebrity Auctions

Ah, the auction house! Is there anything more delightful than the speed of the auctioneer’s voice or the slam of his gavel? Is there any sweeter word than that glorious pronouncement, “SOLD!”? Continue reading

20. Mean Betty's Black Friday Shopping Violence Round-Up!

Kittens, next to ‘tini, sale is Mean Betty’s favorite four letter word. However, after the unspeakable incident whereupon Meanie accidentally backed over the pool boy after she blearily attempted Continue reading

21. Mean Betty Asks, "What Does a Princess Look Like?”

Here in the good old U.S. of A., we don’t have royalty. We have celebrities and we have socialites, both of whom we for some unfathomable reason treat as royalty; but alas, princes and princesses Continue reading

22. Mean Betty: Demi's Not Taking The Divorce Sobbing Into Her Tissues!

   Oh lambkins, gather round for a big life lesson! If you’re ever scorned by your partner, do what Meanie hears Demi Moore is planning to do to Ashton Kutcher: take him to the cleaners! Yes, Continue reading

23. Mean Betty on 'Dancing with the Stars': Drama! (Not Dancing?)

One of Meanie’s favorite things to do at the end of a long, hard day being fabulous is to put up her dainty little feet, have the butler whip up a refreshing cocktail—and tune in to Dancing with Continue reading

24. Mean Betty Wonders, Would You Buy a Magazine Devoted to Reality Shows?

Oh lambkins, how fickle is the world of print! Every other day we hear that no one’s reading magazines any more. Meanie even heard a rumor that Kinda Nasty Conde Nast had to do away with their Continue reading

25. Mean Betty: Lip Syncing on 'The X Factor'? SCANDAL!... Or Is It?

There is, kittens, a blunder that one must take pains never, ever to fall prey to. It is a slip-up of such magnitude that should one commit it, it would thence become necessary to hide one’s face Continue reading