He used to be your number one fan. Ah, those were the days … of flowers and midnight calls that lasted for hours, the daily text messages just to let you know he was thinking about you. He was all that and more.

That was then—this is now.

Lately he feels more like a distant cousin who’s always busy, rarely available and shrouded in a veil of secrecy. When you ask if him if his feelings have changed, he reassures you that everything is fine. But still, you’re confused and have a persistent nagging feeling that something is different. Maybe the honeymoon is over and you’re just moving toward a new comfortable phase in your relationship.

Or it could be that he’s lost interest and is moving on.

As women, we’ve become masters of rationalization as we try to wrap our brain around why he may not interested: “He’s just shy.” “He’s probably intimidated by me.” “He needs some space.” His job is very demanding.”

Short of making yourself crazy trying to understand what he is really thinking, there are some telltale signs that may indicate that he’s just not that into you anymore.

1. He’s suddenly withholding.
His life was once an open book. Now he recoils when asked the most basic queries:

She: So, what did you do today, honey?
He: What are you a detective? Geez! Stop grilling me!

If his once outgoing, congenial, sweet persona, has morphed into a quiet, surreptitious, critical one, where he seems more like a CIA agent on a secret mission, it may be time to start looking for a new leading man.

Victoria, 38, photographer: It was great in the beginning - we talked about everything. Then he started becoming secretive and even cold, so I knew it was time to move on.